Sideshow

We compare coats
wear imitations on our feet
and borrow sympathetic voices
for sideshows
until insight is a stranger
and tomorrow but an echo

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Oversold

Opportunities are not results,
So do not oversell,
For the leverage of your theories
Are as nowt without the actual clout
And where there are made winners,
Are more losers made, as well.

***

”Not enough attention is paid to a similar cliff edge on the other side of the English Channel” – Institute for Government

”Home Affairs Committee raises serious concerns about the Government’s contingency planning for post-Brexit customs operations” – UK Parliament

”It is the UK which is choosing to leave the single market and customs union and that means, by definition, creating a border” – Chris Grey

Excellent reality check: ’A beginners’ guide to trade negotiations’ – UK Trade Forum

***

Lull me a lullaby
Sand in my eyes
Buy me a mockingbird
Give me the sky

Betcha by golly
Wow, build me a folly
Bring me some Kool Aid
Let’s fill up the trolley

Sprinkle the pixie dust
Set up a blind trust
Go short of a picnic
And cut off the crusts

Pipe me a loony tune
Red, white and blue my shoes
Kansas is dying
Jump over the moon

[December 2017]

People get upset

Britain, right now, is a little bit shit
And most of the news is so grim
But people of humour do relish their wit
And relieve themselves quipping on things

They’re clever and silly with memes and fresh banter
So wry in contempt, it can get rather mean
But just look at the farce of the national cantor
And wonder no more that they’re letting off steam

The Bexiteer Right and the humourless Left
Hate the refuge of weaponised humour
But this is the British way civic life checks
Against rumours and bloomers and tumours

 

Here’s The Increasingly Batshit Story That Eventually Led To Priti Patel’s Resignation

Is this the night of the living dead? No, it’s Britain’s Brexit team

The joke’s over – how Boris Johnson is damaging Britain’s global stature

If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry…

howls of latent despair

Fair is foul, and foul is fair
Neither fish nor chlorinated fowl
Nor maize nor daffodil be spared

”Nothing has changed”
But howls of latent despair
Share decreasing dissonance

 

Brexit exemption sought for Grimsby seafood trade

What is wrong with chlorinated chicken?

Cornish farms are already unable to fully harvest crops this year due to a sharp fall in migrant labour.

Eye-roll and sigh…

The way the Tories roll

The principle that’s principal
Is risible
Dirigible
The higher ones invisible
The way the Tories roll

Integrity neglected
Law and ethics disrespected
Fact and fiction self-selective
That’s the way the Tories roll

The gap in credibility
Is sizeable
Revisable
And utterly derivable
The way the Tories roll

Logic magic’ly fragmented
Half the party looks demented
Even sound as though they meant it
It’s a leading Tory role

Can’t tell their elbows from their arses
All hot air and whoopsie farces
Sinister, the stink that passes
Whereabouts the Tories roll

Crony ring of tooth and claw
Surviving on revolving doors
And carousels of dizzy poor
Sees Tories on a roll

With patronising platitudes
And breathtaking ineptitude
They then expect our gratitude
Oh, how the Tories roll!

Avoiding liability
Financial incivility
So hostile to humility
There’s no deniability
That Tory heads must roll

For the slope of plausibility
Grows slippery
With trickery
And, trip! There goes fuckwittery
How fast can Tories roll?

 

[November, 2015 – plus ça change…]

Well done, Homespun

Well done, Homespun
You won
In tongues:
Forked-puns
Unhealthy sums
Ten times the burden on our young
Top-table crumbs
Fair-weather chums
New depths to plumb
The right to be somebody else’s never-setting Sun
No actual benefit – zip, nada, none
No fun
No fun
No fun beneath
Your unopposable thumb.