Patrician Charlies

Patrician Charlies marching on
Cry “wolf!” to keep their powder dry
Straw men festooned with silver spoons
And rolled in notes to buy and buy

And who would not be wary when
We know their hazing lines by rote
A lot of hot air whines ‘Mary’
Mother of god, how the guilty float

But a habit is a habit owned
By supplements or patter
Let the masses be passively stoned
The substance doesn’t matter

Farage has come to save the day!

Farage has come to save the day!
Fail and hide then run away
But, no matter, win or lose,
The newsy studios still choose
To let him in and ask him for his views

Farage is phishing everywhere!
Desperate to raise his shares
Through his self-enacted woes
The anti-climax comes and goes
And the broadcasters pretend they do not know

Farage is dredging for his stock
The oldest new kids on the block
Revolutionary bottom-feeders
Crackpot populist inbreeders
Nigel heads a school of fleecing rot

Shout fire! And fuel and fan the flames
Cry wolf! And huff and puff the blame
Be a demagogue for hire
Pimp your liars to your Ponzi buyers
Watch your nation eat a burning shame

Sequence matters

Opting to hold a general election, just to avoid another Brexit referendum has always been irresponsible, lazy and self-serving. Originally, leaving was merely about whether voters wanted Brexit for Brexit’s sake. It was never discussed whether they wanted Brexit, only if it was a Tory Brexit or only if it was a Corbyn-Labour Brexit (this is just one of the reasons that voters cannot claim to know what they were voting for). A general election should be to express a preference for a left- or right-wing direction and style of Brexit/no Brexit, not whether Brexit should still happen.

Although there is no discernible majority for any form of Brexit, the polarisation is, tangibly, between staying in, with the jammiest deal in the world, or leaving hard/clean/WTO stupid-style – pick your own term, everyone else is. As irresponsible and catastrophic as leaving stupid-style would be and, as much as it is opposed, it is clear, i) that the Tories are hard for stupid-style and ii) that nothing of compromise is politically possible, beneficial, sustainable or even palatable. Impasse means impasse.

It is democratic cowardice that politicians are afraid to check the relevant view of better-informed voters, whose will they used to claim to champion. Unfortunately, just as both Labour and the Conservatives begin to get jittery about holding a general election, since their dreadful Local and EU polling results, the government – if we can still call it that – has brought the horrible possibility closer. Everyone knows that if it happens, it will be because chaos, panic and convention caused it and everyone knows, too, that it is more likely to deepen and widen the chaos and panic than to fix anything. Remedy requires integrity in its sequencing. A referendum and then a general election is the democratic order for what should be happening.

A referendum to confirm or withdraw consent for Brexit should be called. While the conservative party installs another barely-elected Prime Minister with an arrogant, democracy-snubbing fiasco of a leadership contest, Parliament and the Electoral Commission can sort out the date, the question and the paperwork for the referendum. This will be easier and quicker than claimed, especially if it is the same question but, anyway, the EU would have to allow the time, out of respect for our constitutional arrangements. It will also give Labour time to decide what outcome it wants and who it actually represents. Even better, should they use the time to consider also changing their leader.

Naturally, most Leavers do not want a referendum: their visions will not stand the testing and they are already looking more like the minority view. And, of course, many MPs do not want one, either, because they would have to engage with details and discussions that they have taken great pains to overlook. However, not only does Remain have the best chance of winning but Leavers may well soon find that a referendum is also their best and only shot of saving Brexit, at all.

Once we have had the referendum, there can be a brief administrative resetting and a reflective pause and then, a general election should be called so that the electorate can decide which flavour of government they would prefer, either to oversee leaving or to oversee staying in the EU, according to the referendum result.

For three years, we have been told what we think and what we want. For three years we have been told who and what we would vote for. For three years, politicians have been wishing, guessing, manipulating and extrapolating wildly. It really is time they were brave and sensible and asked us directly and specifically. And soon.



Amparse, amparse: lower set of French class
Ompasse, ompasse: shove it up your pomp ass
Umpasse, umpasse: stick it up your jumped-up ass
Impasse, impasse: stick to English, jackass.

[Sorry. I know it’s a bit mean but the continuing need for the use of this word has turned what was once an endearing characteristic into a bugbear]