Leavestaying

We have a ‘#BrexitDeal’!

We’ll get our country back, control our borders and make our own laws and forge our own trade deals. It will be quick, easy and absolute. We will thrive beyond our wildest dreams.

No, not that deal.

And it isn’t a deal. It’s just Phase One of Article 50.

The UK has agreed to all three of the key EU demands on the divorce settlement: finances, citizens’ rights and the Irish border. It is a relief, of course, because it takes away the cliff edge of ‘no deal’ or ‘hard brexit’ that would so imperil us but it is also kicking some hefty cans down the road and it drives us towards exactly the ‘soft’ kind of Brexit that highlights the absurdities. We leave, having stayed. We are staying with having left.

Relief that we are not going over the cliff is merited and palpable, if you ignore the Faragists. Really, though, we are leaving the favour of the big house on a grand estate, where we helped to make the rules, so that we can keep to ourselves, in our crumbling old shed, at the edge of the grounds, while continuing to pay our old maintenance fees and to do as we are told. What a pity that George Osborne did not fix its roof while the sun was shining.

No cliff
For the Brexit feels
Nor milk and honey
Facts got real
Fudge found appeal
An utter waste of time and money

***

’Joint report on progress during phase 1 of negotiations under Article 50 TEU on the United Kingdom’s orderly withdrawal from the European Union’ – gov.uk

“No, the Brexit deal hasn’t just ‘sold the country down the river’” – Oliver Norgrove

”The EU deal is a victory for a softer Brexit” – Osborne’s Evening Standard

“All sides have signed up to something, but nobody is clear how it will be achieved.” – Irish Times

The phase 1 deal and where it takes us – Chris Grey

Oh and just to rub it in, the EU and Japan finalised negotiations of the Economic Partnership Agreement, today: Joint Statement

***

Say it with me, dear Reader: ’Soft Brexit’ takes the piss out of both Leave and Remain. There is still no Brexit available that is better for Britain than no Brexit, at all.

Radio 4 Today’s John Humphrys was twitter-trending, this morning, as he often does but, this time, it was actually under the correct spelling of his name. Previously he has been ‘Humphries’ and ‘Humphreys’ and ‘Humphry’. No divergence, today, from the accuracy of what actually exists. That is what progress looks like when the manifestation of perception is in “full alignment” with reality. Take note, Brexiteers.

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