John declared the Jezerendum was his finest conversion.

My mind wandered as I read ten minutes of inspired paranoia and vitriol pick ‘n’ mix that is Labour Twitter… I fantasized that we had a Jezerendum and that the country voted overwhelmingly in favour of giving Mr Corbyn one of our small islands. I don’t know which one it was, only that it required a ferry to access the mainland and that it was big enough for all his personal staff and every adventurous, ardent believer. The offer was extended to the rest of the Labour Party but all sides were affronted so that was quickly settled.

Through an excruciating but often hilarious week of hotly tweeted debate about whether this result was down to the magnanimity of a democratic, reason-minded nation, or another covert neoliberal plot by the Blairite BBC (peak purge, Matt noted, wryly), much of the grassroots came to the conclusion that it didn’t actually matter: the momentum was with them.

Jeremy called a rally. He told his congregation that he accepted the result as proof of faith in his will and a definitive mandate for his kinda politics. John declared the Jezerendum was his finest conversion. Jeremy waved his hat: “Jam for all! And bread-making academies! Come, comrades: we shall build ourselves a socialist allotment. Our momentum has just begun! From now on, you are in charge. Our rallies shall be our news, your placards our policies. Everyone has a right to Utopia!” He looked up from his notes, to drink of the rapturous crowd… “Seumas, I’m not sure this is a great idea…” The country held her breath and crossed her fingers.

And then, suddenly, they were off, the haunting sound of ‘The Reg Flag’ fading into the watery mist.

A collective wow… was exhaled throughout the mainland..: Maybe Brexit would fit on the Isle of Wight..?

Labour Twitter is right: Mr Corbyn does inspire. Or, at least, his grassroots do.

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4 thoughts on “John declared the Jezerendum was his finest conversion.

  1. Juli I used to respect you and followed your blog fervently as you spoke from the heart and had the same values as milt self but I truly believe you are losing the plot I am not blindly following JC & I do have a brain as a retired accounts administrator for a multi national company dealing with millions of pounds per month, you make me feel like a cult follower with no sense only following blindly which I am not and I do find your remarks offensive. So the time has come for the parting of the ways.. Good Luck to you though and wish you well xx

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  2. Another reason I find it offensive my husband who is NOT political has been suspended from the Labour Party for posting happy birthday to 2 work colleagues and one to a friend on Facebook, I have proof this is true as I took a snapshot of his timeline showing only these 3 posts in June when the so called infraction was supposed to have occurred. The Party have shot themselves in the foot as he does not support Corbyn and we have had heated discussions in our house because of this. So by suspending him for nothing have just obtained another Corbyn supporter. If these are the people you support then I am glad we are parting

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    • Oh, Hilary, I’m sorry to hear that you don’t like what I’m writing, at the moment/any more. I’m not keen on some of my output, either! That’s because I don’t like what I am seeing, especially on Twitter and that is informing many of my posts, right now. I write to reflect snapshots of what I’m observing and thinking about and this makes my posts eclectic and contrary; sometimes caustic, sometimes humorous, sometimes esoteric.

      I am not affiliated to any political party. I owe no loyalty to any particular tribe or school of thought. Any hopes and support I had for Corbyn died a few months ago when I lost patience with his management and got sick of the wilful ignorance and narrow agendas of some of his activists. I say ‘some’ because it is only the worst of them that this post refers to. The mess Labour is in is entirely of its own making and I have no more enthusiasm for Smith than Corbyn.

      I should be sad to lose a reader but I wish you and your husband well.

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      • Juli I am venting my anger at what happened to my husband as I could not believe it. He is far from political, he does not & never has had a Twitter account, he only got a facebook account so he could keep in contact with his friend at work because he gave him a lift every other week as they work funny shifts & didn’t want.to ring each other in case it disturbed the partners, if it had been me suspended then I could understand it as I am political in so much that I follow what is going on and do post on social media.
        Another friend of mine on Facebook his wife has also been suspended for infringements in Dec 2015, she like my husband is not political & at the time was giving palliative care to her terminally ill son and as she said in no way would I be sat at a computer abusing labour as she had better & far more important things to do like taking care of her dying son.
        It has been a terrible year for us with deaths in the family, plus the death of a close friend and then told our baby who is a king charles cavalier spaniel has cancer as well then along came the suspension & then your post and I saw red.
        Juli I still want to be friends and I apologise for my outburst as everyone is entitled to their opinion just like my husband.
        I was mad at the world and labour & vented my anger at you.
        I will say though if JC does not win the leadership then both our memberships will be cancelled and I will never ever vote labour again can’t speak for hubby that’s his choice because if this is how the current Labour Party or PLP NEC behaves culling people for nothing then we want no part of that
        I have been a lifelong Liberal Lib/Dem supporter & always voted this way and I am 65 so a lot of GE’s but when they got into bed with the Tories 2010 and started attacking the poorest & disabled I vowed never to vote for them again then in 2015 I voted labour just to get our Nasty Tory out of office, then along came JC & you know the rest.
        Please accept my apologies for the previous rant as we do have a lot in common apart from this, so I hope we can still be friends?
        Please ignor any grammatical errors as I am writing this on my phone and predictive text changes some words so I hope it makes sense lol xxx
        Hilary xx

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