Dear Club Europe,

We realise you must see us a bunch of uppity, self-righteous carpers when it comes to our membership of the European Club. Please do forgive us, for we are mostly misinformed of what we think we know and ignorant of the remainder. You could say that we honestly don’t know what is good for us and we find we must beg your patience for just a little longer.

Of course, we accept that the inner circle is in a bit of a pickle and we recognise that, what with all the meddling and endless machinations, your hastily knocked up magic trick means you will have your hands full for some time to come. Accordingly, we wish to express our regret that our general whining and non-committal attitude is terribly inconvenient for you and we ask that you make allowances for our sense of irony and comic timing.

It is clear, however, that, between the Magic Zone and the Outer Rim, our Club is struggling rather, with its identity and purpose and we urge you to consider the possibility that we might yet have a point. Furthermore, we would like to suggest the distinct possibility that we are not alone and that other members, of all zones and circles, would also like to iron out some quirks. To this end and, in light of the fact that ‘tits-up’ is the current European reality; it seems that squandering this opportunity would be an utterly tragic waste of a reality check.

We look forward to your response and have full confidence in our mutual endeavours, going forward.

Yours, maybe faithfully,

Some of the UK.

P.S. We are reassured by the invaluable and indomitable enthusiasm of those jolly helpful and insightful chaps in Washington and, naturally, we welcome their objective contribution as an enhancement to the spirit and atmosphere of unfettered cooperation. 

7 thoughts on “Dear Club Europe,

  1. Now wouldn’t it be a wondrous thing if the enthusiasm of those jolly helpful and insightful Washington chappies extended to stumping up the £45 million a day it’s costing us to represent their interests in ‘The Club’.


  2. Dear UK club, do we neither catch exactly the utterly narrow wit that bounds us together, resembles the will to survive so.would you be sure to cope better on your own, and it would be buisness as usual.once cleared if some of the UK only needs information, ask the other part of it.It is so to say that you’re undervaluing your capability to make up your mind, so far it seemed that -wait and see- was a natural behaviour of yours, and we can indeed cary on this way, should you be willing it.
    On the other hand, city lads, Brits, welshs,scotts, and some -few-irishs , as to sum up all peoples of your club, well, each one could come up with a different will, thus, ask your queen to undermine any of you that were wrong,
    Excuse my french,


    • Touché! Chuckle… I’m not sure I understood all of that but it seemed equally pointed and humorous. I do hope you took it in the same spirit in which it was meant. I was laughing at us British as much as at the EU Leaders. We can think for ourselves when we get the information but all we’ve ever had in this country is political spin through a media which has become a mere mouthpiece. I have always thought we should be full and active members and that hasn’t changed, in spite of events – in fact I’m more convinced, especially in light of global contexts. Here are a few earlier thoughts: 🙂


  3. don’t let me be misunderstood, humour it is..(maybe just the way i write in english)what is inmost to be pointed at, is that the best point de vue on club europe certainly grounds on the shores of Albion.The Euro, a foly?indeed it is.A european federation?certainly impossible!But for godsake!What else?
    people are misinformed, because What else is not a policy.(i am not trying to say you drink bad coffee).
    Everywhere on the continent you’ll find people saying europe is the problem, looking for their real identity , claiming independance, underlying stupid laws, pointing at unlegitimate government..because Europe is still to be Invented.
    And if uk would stop fool around for a second, and point at a direction, it would be THE direction that makes Europe happen.
    Let appart fears, misconceptions, nostalgy of the empire, and a snaky spirit so snaky , you are the key to all of this tits up messy future.

    a cheese eating surrending monkey who knows you’ll fight through!

    PS: insightful chaps in Washington are saying you won’t make it.


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